Why did the original Valentine’s celebrations end? The day after Valentine’s day 2015 ended seems like a good time to find out.
Who took the orgies out of Valentine’s Day?
If you guessed the pope or religion, you are correct. The Pope took away the fun.
Why? Because Juno Februata and Lupercal were pagan gods. And because the Pope had a problem with the nudity.
By the 5th century, public performance of pagan rites had been outlawed. Pope Galesius abolished this festival of sexual license, and substituted Saint Valentine for Juno and Lupercus. Back then young soldiers were not allowed to marry because it was believed that marriage made you a worse soldier. Science has now proven marriage lowers testosterone levels so the Romans were probably right. Valentine married soldiers in secret. He was beheaded on February 14 for performing those marriages. Since the Pope and religion was big on marriage, they made Valentine a Saint and turned the Lupercalia into a celebration of him.
When you replace the goddess of hot steamy sex with a guy famous for marriage, of course your holiday loses the fun. No more erotic games and orgies. Lots of cards and chocolates. No one wants to be the fattest person at the orgy, but if there are no orgies, you might as well eat chocolate.
This was not a popular decision. A lot of Romans were pissed. Can you blame them?
Boy, have we lost the meaning of Valentine’s Day! Let’s declare a war, bring in the media and get the Lupercalia back.
We have been needlessly torturing people with Valentine’s Day for hundreds of years for no reason. We are supposed to be celebrating fertility by having sex with people whose names were picked from a box.
Do you ever contemplate if life was better before modern technology? I often think we’d be better off without computers and cell phones and even cars. The Lupercalia is just another example of how life was better in the old days.
When I was in high school, on Valentine’s Day, kids sent carnations to each other and the money went to student council. The flowers were given out in homeroom. The pretty popular people got lots of carnations, and the other kids felt like crap, or skipped homeroom or sent themselves flowers to avoid the humiliation of not having their name called in homeroom. Bleeding heart that I was, I took the issue to the school board and got this cruel practice ended. The popular people didn’t need the ego boost and the kids who didn’t get flowers didn’t need another reason to hate their life. I won that battle..
I felt like Sally Fields in Norma Rae. Back then I was a cheerleader who got tons of carnations so my fight wasn’t personal. But now it is. I’ve been in a sucky marriage. I would stand at the card section of Hallmark stores looking for Valentine’s Day cards that said, “You’re a shmuck. I hope you get into a car accident on Valentine’s Day.” But, alas, I never found the perfect card. Even though I have had lots of boyfriends, they were hardly showering me with candy and love poems. In fact, I was dumped twice on Valentine’s Day. It was actually the same Valentine’s Day, from 2 different guys. That hurt.
My point is that Valentine’s Day is fraught with reasons to be miserable.
If you are in a bad marriage, it is a bad day. According to studies, divorce filings go up right after Valentine’s Day.
If you are single, constant reminders everywhere you look about love can be depressing as hell. So is thinking about how everyone is getting Valentine’s Day gifts but you.
Now imagine how great it would be if Valentine’s Day was all naked men, erotic games and willing women. As long as you put your name in a box, you have a partner for sex games. You see your partner as being chosen by the gods which has got to add spark to those relationships. And best of all, your sex partner is yours for the whole year. No one gets dumped. When the year is over, you get a new name. .
Getting the true meaning and rituals of this holiday back is something worth fighting for.
I Officially Declare My War On Valentine’s Day.
Instamour 